Rev. Kaye Edwards
Mark 10:13-16
Children Welcome
I understand that you are in the midst of celebrating a year at the Table, that you are taking time to think more deeply about beliefs and practices surrounding the celebration of communion. And here we are in the Season after Pentecost, the green growing season of the church year. The season for each of us, as persons of faith, to work especially hard at deepening our relationship with God and our understanding of what it means to live in community. What better way to do that than to talk about our Lord’s Table, the very center of our lives as Disciples of Christ.
I have been asked to address the issue of whether or not children, who have not been baptized, can be welcomed to the communion table. This opportunity to talk about the place of young children at the table, specifically children who have not been baptized, is one I relish. I thank you for this invitation.
The communion table is extremely important to our lives as Disciples of Christ. One might wonder why we have not given more thought to the participation of children at the table. Actually, quite a few people have been giving thought to this issue for a very long time, but no “official word” has come from these deliberations. Part of the reason is that we, Disciples, do not have a top down way of being Church. Like many mainline denominations we have a General Office (called General, instead of National, because we include Canada). However, unlike many mainline denominations, our General Office does not make and hand-down decisions about what people in local churches have to believe or practice in their congregational lives.
Tradition is important to our lives as Disciples of Christ. One of the most important traditions of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) is that people of faith have the responsibility to read their Bibles, worship and fellowship with other Christians, pray and THINK for themselves. There is absolutely nothing that you have to believe in, other than Jesus, in order to be a member of a Disciples Congregation. Therefore, there will probably never be an “official word” on the communing of children who have not been baptized. Individual congregations have to work through this for themselves, taking into account the ways that God speaks to them – through scripture, tradition, and experiences. In her article, “A Gate to the Communion Table,” Rev. Dr. Sharon Warner talks about the need for churches to have policies regarding the communing of children and not just leave it to parents to decide, which is what over sixty percent of our churches do, according to research in the book, Children at the Lord’s Table. At the very least the Church needs to be offering guidance to parents on this issue, understanding , of course, that decision is ultimately one for individual parents and children to make together. That is the Disciples way.
As the Director of Family and Children’s Ministries for the Disciples, I have thought a good deal about the communing of young children. I have recommendations to offer you this morning. These recommendations are based on my study of scripture, my understanding of Disciples tradition, and my personal experiences with communion and with children. At the end of this sermon there will be little doubt about where I stand on this issue. But, whether or not you agree with where I stand, I pray that what I say will prompt you to do your own study of the issue. I pray that you will make a decision based on what you, as a faithful community, believe and can, with confidence, communicate to the parents and children who worship here.
Traditionally speaking, what we today call “The Lord’s Supper” is based on the Jewish celebration of Passover, a family meal when the Jewish people remember how death passed over the Hebrew people and how (as we say in Children Worship & Wonder) God brought the people through the water to freedom. This ritualized celebration continues today in Jewish families and young children continue to be part of the meal. It is a time for children to ask questions and for everyone to hear stories and remember the mighty acts of God. This was the meal that Jesus celebrated with his disciples and to which he added the Words of Institution, words that instruct. Whenever we eat this bread and drink this cup, Jesus tells us, we are to remember him. This ritual celebration is a remembering of Jesus – his life, his teachings, and the great sacrifice he made so that we might better understand what it means to participate in the Kingdom of God. We Disciples often refer to this table as the table of remembrance.
Biblically speaking, a look at the time Jesus spent on the earth reveals that children were very important to him. He liked them. He respected them for who they were, not just for the adults that they would one day grow into. There’s a Gospel story about Jesus and children that comes just before the one you heard read this morning. In this story the Disciples are arguing about which one of them is the most important. We are told that Jesus,
“. . . took a little child and put the child among them; and taking the child
in his arms, he said to them, “Whoever welcomes one such child in my
name welcomes me and whoever welcomes me welcomes not me but
the one who sent me.”
Now what is amazing to me about this story is the immediate access Jesus had to this child which leads me to believe that there were probably always children around Jesus. Children were probably part of the group of close friends that followed him everywhere he went. How else could he so easily “put a child” among them? Obviously, whatever child he pulled into that circle of disciples and used for this lesson was comfortable with him, “he took the child in his arms.”
I think it is likely that children, along with women, were present at that last Passover meal when Jesus added a new ritual for his closest friends – men, women and children. The problem is that children and women were (in the Gospel writers’ minds) not important enough figures to include in their depictions of that meal. I also wonder, would not the people about whom Jesus said, “Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me,” be present at what he knew would be his last Passover?
In the story of the loaves and fishes, the Disciples may not have taken the small boy’s lunch offering seriously, but Jesus did. In our text for today, the Disciples still don’t get how important children are to Jesus. Can’t you just hear them? “Get away from Jesus! Leave him alone. He has better, more important things to do. He can’t be bothered with you.” But Jesus was indignant and said to those Disciples, in no uncertain terms, “You are wrong to keep children from me.”
When Jesus walked upon this earth as a living man, there were no requirements that children had to meet in order to be near him. Apparently children have some ownership, some special understanding of God and God’s Kingdom that the Disciples just might need. If Jesus were here with us today, I wonder what he would have to say to those of us who might speak sternly about children needing to meet the requirement of baptism, in order to be invited to participate in his Table of Remembrance?
When my husband, David, was serving a church in Indiana, we found that children who participated in Children Worship & Wonder came to worship “expecting” to participate in communion. They just entered right into partaking of the elements. They didn’t ask anyone’s permission. Thank goodness, no one refused to serve them. As we talked to these children we discovered that they did have an understanding of communion; one based on the way in which they experienced “the feast” in Children Worship & Wonder. With children already partaking of communion before going through baptism classes we found that they were able and more willing to focus on all the important aspects of what it means to make a public confession of faith in Jesus. During baptism classes we could more easily get them to think about all the many challenges and privileges that are part of a commitment to the Body of Christ. It was no longer just about getting to take communion.
We also found that children were asking to be baptized at earlier ages, and this is the experience of many churches that do Children Worship & Wonder. In my way of thinking this is alright. Baptism is God’s action and we should take seriously anyone who requests to be baptized, no matter the age. That constitutes another whole sermon that there is no time for this morning. However, I must tell you the story of one of these young disciples, Shelby, who was baptized quite early.
Both of Shelby’s parents were serving as deacons on this particular Sunday, and when they left to serve, it meant that she was left totally alone in the pew. The deacons, serving that section of the sanctuary, assumed that Shelby was too young to take communion and simply skipped her pew. The next thing I knew Shelby’s head was down and her shoulders were shaking as she sobbed. After the deacons returned the elements to the communion table and went forth to collect the offering, someone else, who had also observed Shelby crying, got up and brought her communion. Afterwards I wondered, how many of us are moved to tears if we miss communion? Maybe Shelby didn’t completely understand her participation in communion but she knew it was important and that she wanted it.
In another church we served, there was one child, about 3 years old at the time, who always came forward for the children’s sermon but never listening to it. She just wanted to be close to the communion table. She would get up on her tippy-toes to look at what was there. I think about her every time I tell the Children Worship & Wonder Story of the Good Shepherd and Communion and say to the children, “I wonder if you have ever been close to this table?”
Another thing to consider about making baptism a requirement for participating in communion is that it is not something we demand of adults. When adults visit our worship services, do we try to find out whether or not they are baptized before we allow them to commune at the Lord’s Table? Do we quiz them on their understanding of communion? Most Disciples congregations simply issue the invitation to all who follow or believe in Jesus. And anyway, isn’t the participation in this sacred meal more a matter of the heart than of the head? Can any of us say with certainty that we understand how participating in this meal brings us closer to Jesus? Can we explain the mystery of feeling God’s spirit when we share this meal with one another?
It is not that I think children can come to the table without any instruction or guidance. As a congregation, when an infant is blessed or dedicated, don’t you make a commitment to help those parents raise that child in the faith? How is that commitment lived out in this congregation? Are the children with you, participating in all aspects of your life as church? Are they in worship with you? Do you know them? Like Jesus, would they easily and comfortably let you put your arms around them? Use them to teach a lesson? Like Jesus, would you correct anyone who said that they didn’t belong near you? Is your worship of God, your learning about Jesus so important that you can’t be bothered with children? I often hear from churches who what to know, what’s next? What do we “do with the children” when they outgrow Children Worship & Wonder? It seems that many adults don’t want children in the sanctuary disturbing their worship. But how are they to learn? How are they to receive instruction about communion or other aspects of life in the faith community if they are always separated out from that faith community?
I began promoting Children Worship & Wonder because of what I observed after beginning work with Disciples Home Missions. Most Anglo congregations were taking children out of worship and sending them to programs that ranged from almost controlled chaos to very structured church school classes. Young children were not being offered the opportunity to worship. Something they instinctively know how to do. In many Episcopal churches, children attend church school while adults attend worship. John Westerhoff, a great Christian educator, once told these churches that they had things backwards. Children need to be in worship because they instinctively know how to worship. Most don’t have the worries and doubts of adults to distract them from living in the present, where God is. They know how to praise God. Therefore the children should be in worship and adults should be in church school relearning what it means to be a people of faith.
My preference would be that children always be in worship. I don’t think God’s people at worship means God’s adult people at worship. Think about it, most everything in the life of our churches is geared to the needs of adults. Most of the time we treat children and youth as objects of our ministries, not members of our communities. Most worship services are adult oriented. I don’t see that changing a whole lot so my compromise is doing Children Worship & Wonder, but only from age 3 to (at the latest) third grade.
There are so many things we can do and need to do, as congregations, to welcome children into all aspects of our life as church, especially worship. Again, that is another whole subject matter and we don’t have time for that today.
The point is, long before children can even ask questions, they are learning. As they listen to us, our prayers at the table, our repeating of the Words of Institution, our singing of the hymns and songs, they are being instructed about the meaning of the Lord’s Table. They are learning as they listen to us. They are learning as they watch us. Do we come to the Table prayerfully, joyfully, respectfully, reverently? If so, they are being instructed as to how one appreciates and participates in this sacred meal.
The greatest teachings always come through participation. Children who are invited, from the earliest possible time, to participate in all aspect of the church’s life are learning. Children consider themselves “members” of the body long before they are baptized. Do we consider them as such?
So, in case I haven’t been absolutely clear about where I stand on this issue let me say once and for all, children have as much right to be at this Lord’s Table as any of us. Maybe more. We need to here together, all ages, welcoming one another. We are told in the 31st chapter of Jeremiah that God’s Covenant is written upon the hearts of all, from the greatest to the least of us. We must listen to what our own hearts say to us. We must listen to what children know from their own hearts, as well. “Let the little children come to me and do not stop them for it is to such as these that the Kingdom of God belongs.” We have much to teach children and they have much to teach us . . . after all, the Kingdom of God belongs to them.
